Wisdom from my first teacher in life

Before Primal Pioneers went live, the idea simmered on the back burner for a few years. From time to time, I allowed a few people to‘sample’ my ‘brew’ so I could hear their thoughts. My mom was one of these samplers, and I gave her the sample as a token of honor. Because Primal Pioneers exists thanks to her. She was the first teacher in my life, and a Primal Pioneer in her own right.

From the day I was born (actually conceived), my mom chose to raise me according to her own inner sense of direction in life. A brave choice, because often those ways diverged, if not conflicted, from what society dictated to be ‘right’. Together with my dad, she held strong to her beliefs. Throughout my youth they showed me the broad horizons and fascinating dimensions life has to offer when we dare to blaze our own trails.


There came a time in my adolescence and early adulthood when I was no longer open to my parent’s ‘alternative’ ideas. In my rebellion, I turned to society’s shortsightedness, and silently labeled my parents as a bunch of hippies. It was the time where I became a head-person, and tried painstakingly to not be my parents by condemning everything they stood for. Much to my frustration, my parents patiently allowed me my revolt. No matter what I did or said, they lovingly stood by me and waited out my ‘tantrum’.

My rebellion lasted a long time. At one point I even broke all contact with my parents for over a year. In therapy, I was going through an intense stage which left me feeling lost and without a course. I needed time to recover and find my bearings again. I can only imagine how hard it must’ve been on them, but my parents granted me the requested radio silence.


But my cocooning phase proved necessary for transformation. When I finally emerged, I had changed into a more authentic form of myself. I’d shed the confining layers of old life and mindset, and felt a connection with a sense of self I’d known in my youngest years. The self that had learned to blaze its own trail. Exactly like my mom (and dad) had taught me all those years. It was a humbling realization, knowing that I was actually embracing the lessons of my parents’ hard work.

I felt the desire to reconnect with my parents, and tell them my story. And I wanted to thank them for their incredible patience, love, compassion, understanding and respect. So I did.

I reached out, and felt amazed by the strong connection I felt with them again. Stronger than ever. I learned how much our journeys in life are alike: to blaze our own trail, guided by our inner sense of direction, our Primal Self. I realized that my mom and dad had actually been Primal Pioneers all along.

Wisdom from my first teacher

A few weeks after Primal Pioneers went live, my mom sent me a writing she’d created for me to share. I’m proud and humbled to share it with you. The wisdom from my very first teacher, and Primal Pioneer.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you mom and dad. For instead of showing me the way through life, teaching me to find my own.

I had the opportunity to experience many facets of life.

This journey taught me how it is all about going deeper and deeper, again and again. How to see connections, simularities and uniqueness in the combinations of all that.

The pain is worth it, although there are moments of wanting to give up or to return to patterns of the past.

Once you’re living being aware of every precious moment, you truly know that turning back isn’t an option any longer, it’s quite impossible. You can’t but go on and on and on. You do have the option between living in full consciousness or in a more dull way.

There are no other options.

That’s the challenge.

It is all about and-and rather than or-or.

Lut (Jelger’s mom)


Jelger is former lawyer and recovering head person, with a passion for self-improvement, rewilding and discovering all life has to offer. He lives in Vancouver, BC together with his wife Tanja and a bunch of cute, stuffed animals (which he may or may not have named).